Family as a System

I talked a little bit about roles last time but this time, in class, we talked about families as systems. What I mean by system is that we come together as individuals but we all have an effect on one another. Within a family system we have subsystems. We then create boundaries within these systems. One can be clear or permeable which means there are rules and limits on how involved you are in our system. The other is diffuse or open. If its open then anyone can come in and out of our personal relationships. And the last one is rigid, which means that no one can be allowed into your relationship. 

What really stood out to me was how sometimes we don't take the time to see what kind of relationships we have and if they are healthy relationships. A healthy family relationship would be one that the husband and wife have an open relationship within themselves, but have a clear boundary to everyone else. I think we need to be careful who we let have total access into our lives. 

I'll be getting married soon and one thing my professor made me think of, was that I'll be breaking of from my own family system and starting a new one. He mentioned how we, my husband and I, must talk about what boundaries we want to set because it will either affect us in a positive or negative way. 

I'm just really grateful to be learning all of this now and hopefully be able to get people to think about their families and the things we can all improve on :)